Singleness and The Christian. What Did Jesus Do?
How did Christ live His life? Are we commanded to marry? What does the Bible demand of the single individual? Does a spouse “complete” you?
Introduction
Theology: How Did Christ Live His Life?
Philosophy: What is the Purpose of Marriage?
Culture: What pressures are on the individual to marry?
Politics: How does singleness provide opportunities for one to serve the Lord with more focus?
Economics: Millennials and Gen Z are avoiding marriage, but many are even avoiding relationships and sex. How does the economic reasoning reveal the motivations of these generations and how we as a culture have failed to inculcate selflessness?
Theology Segment: Was Jesus Married? Was He Single?
We'll address the content of these articles:
https://bib.irr.org/how-do-we-know-jesus-was-not-married
https://www.gotquestions.org/why-didnt-Jesus-marry.html
Through innuendo, many have claimed that Christ was married to Mary Magdalene. The Burden of Proof resides on these people as there are no eye witnesses claiming such a wife. (The Davinci Code styled theories have less Historical evidence than the Lochness Monster, and by that we mean 0 evidence, only wild conjecture and Christian Fan Fiction in the form of the 2nd Century Gospel of Mary or 3rd Century Gospel of Phillip, neither written by the proposed authors)
We have 2 genealogies of Christ, and neither mention His Children, a common occurrence from marital intimacy.
Jesus was here on a mission that would leave a widow: Isaiah 52:13-53:12, 1 Peter 1:19-20, and Luke 18:31-33. He gave the duty of a son to care for His mother to John. Why would He not do something similar to His widow?
Such a widow would have been idolized and very likely been a salient feature in the Church, yet we only hear of other women like Pricilla and likely Junia.
Such a relationship, where two become one flesh would likely compete with Christ's meticulously prepared image of His Bridegroom of the Church. The Church is His Bride, not a hypothetical 1st century wife with no evidence to her existence.
Philosophy: What is the Purpose of Marriage? Can one fulfill God's Purpose as a Single?
God has 3 purposes for Marriage:
Companionship
Procreation/Discipleship
Glorious Purpose in Image Bearing
Obviously Companionship is at the heart of romance and marriage. But there is something interesting in the soul of the human heart that longs for a specific relationship, that which results in creating a new life. This facilitates not only the creation of a new life, but also the chain reaction resulting in biological and spiritual drive to disciple and protect the new life. In all of this, there is a Glorious Purpose in that we are a reflection of our Creator, creating life and nurturing it, as He does every day.
Can a Single Person be a part of this image and fulfill this as Single? In short, yes, but in a different way. We as Singles are obligated to spend time discipling others. In such, we can experience a different sort of Companionship (with Christ as we can only successfully disciple when in communion with Him). We also see a different type of duplication or discipleship with the unbeliever, or newer believer. In such actions, we may carry out our Glorious Purpose in Image Bearing Christ to the world and other believers.
So yes, yes you can be effective for Christ as a Single. In fact it's required of you.
Culture: Should the Church Pressure Kids to Get Married?
What is happening in our culture in regards to marriage?
From BGSU: “The U.S. marriage rate (the number of women's marriages per 1,000 unmarried women 15 years and older) is the lowest it has been in over a century at 31.1—that is, roughly 31 marriages per 1,000 unmarried women.
• The marriage rate was highest
in 1920 at 92.3.
• Since 1970, the marriage rate
has declined by almost 60%”
https://www.bgsu.edu/content/dam/BGSU/college-of-arts-and-sciences/NCFMR/documents/FP/FP-13-13.pdf
From Axios: “Even as the marriage rate is falling, the institution still holds value in the U.S., said Susan Brown, co-director of the National Center for Family & Marriage Research.
Case in point: High school seniors' attitudes toward marriage have remained relatively stable over the past several decades.
In 1976, 74% of seniors said they expected to get married, and in 2020, 71% said so, according to an ongoing University of Michigan study.”
But the way we think about marriage is changing.
"It used to be a basic institution that everyone had to buy into in early adulthood," Cherlin said. "You got married, then you moved in together, and then you got a job."
"Marriage is now becoming the last step into adulthood." And it's an optional step. People are more likely to want to finish their education, find a job and pay off debt before getting hitched.
As a result, many are delaying marriage.
The number of women entering their first marriage between the ages of 40 and 59 has jumped 75% since 1990, Brown said.
The bottom line: Expect far fewer 50th anniversary parties in the future.”
https://www.axios.com/2023/02/25/marriage-declining-single-dating-taxes-relationships
Also note that 60-90% of divorces, are initiated by women, depending on whose studies you're going by. This also adds to the cultural resistance towards marriage. We used to be pressured into marriage, now we're pressured out of it.
One issue we need to take care of, however, is the assumption that one is not complete unless they are married. Is this biblical? Is Christ not our Bridegroom? Was Christ incomplete? Or is it rather that our family is completed by a spouse that the children grow the family? It is important to not add extra-biblical hoops for the Christian to jump through.
Politics: What opportunities exist for the Single to serve the Lord?
How should we be affecting the world as Singles? (Not very political, but more in a cultural strain, what power does Singleness provide the Christian to exert influence on the world?)
What do we often spend our time on when single?
From PsychologyToday.com:
“1. Every day, single people spend an average 52 minutes more on educational activities than married people do.
2. Single people spend 43 minutes more per day on sleeping and personal care.
3. Every day, married people spend an average of 41 minutes more on household activities than single people do.
4. Single people spend an average of 40 more minutes per day on leisure and sports.
5. Married people spend an average of 38 minutes more per day working.”
Economics:
Gen Z, when polled had this to say about marriage, via the Hill:
“While the traditional ideas surrounding marriage may be shifting, 83 percent of participants said they would like to get married at some point. Though, 85 percent also reported that they don't feel marriage is needed to “have a fulfilling and committed relationship.”
“The report found over three in five unmarried couples live with their partners, though more millennials live with their partner than Gen Z — with a difference of 65 percent to 35 percent.
As for what motivates couples to move in together, over half — 54 percent — said it was related to finances, while 85 percent said they moved in because they wanted to. Sixty percent of participants moved in together after dating a year or less.
Nearly one in five share a back account with the partner they live with and around one in six share a credit card, although living costs aren't always split equal with half of participants stating they don't split their mortgage or rent equally, the survey said.
Thirty-seven percent said they find their relationship is financially unequal.”
What does this say about the culture's value of commitment? How have we as a church failed to prove the value of marriage?
Closing thoughts
Final Question: Have you ever had a celebrity crush? If so, who?