Jun 20, 2023
Have you ever struggled to forgive someone who has hurt you? In this episode of the Finding Direction podcast, I interview Dr. Everett Worthington, a leading expert on the topic of forgiveness. Dr. Worthington shares his insights on the importance of forgiveness and its impact on our physical and mental health, as well as our relationships. The most valuable lesson from this episode is that forgiveness is a choice, and it's crucial for our well-being to let go of negative emotions and replace them with positive ones.
Dr. Worthington introduces his REACH method for reaching forgiveness, which involves recalling the hurt, empathizing with the person who hurt us, giving an altruistic gift of forgiveness, committing to the forgiveness, and holding onto it. He also emphasizes the importance of self-forgiveness and taking responsibility for our actions.
The episode debunks common misconceptions about forgiveness, such as the idea that forgiveness stops justice or that it's only necessary if the person apologizes. Dr. Worthington's personal story is also shared, highlighting the importance of staying curious about our passions and reflecting on what drives us. Overall, this episode is a must-listen for anyone who wants to improve their well-being and relationships through the power of forgiveness.
What We Discuss:
Introduction [00:00:00]
Stu Mason introduces the podcast and welcomes the guest, Dr.
Everett Worthington, who is an expert on forgiveness.
Two types of forgiveness [00:03:32]
Dr. Worthington explains the two types of forgiveness: decisional
forgiveness and emotional forgiveness.
Effects of unforgiveness [00:07:49]
Dr. Worthington talks about the negative effects of unforgiveness
on physical and mental health, as well as relationships.
Blaming for Good and Bad [00:11:42]
The importance of blaming someone for both the good and bad things
they have done to us.
Forgiving Oneself [00:14:44]
The importance of forgiving oneself and the negative effects of
self-condemnation.
The Reach Method [00:17:29]
Dr. Worthington's method for reaching forgiveness, which involves
recalling the hurt, empathizing with the person who hurt us,
committing to forgiveness, and holding onto that forgiveness.
Forgiveness and Justice [00:23:59]
Dr. Worthington explains that forgiveness and justice are two
different things and that forgiveness does not stop justice.
Misconceptions about Forgiveness [00:24:30]
Dr. Worthington discusses the misconception that forgiveness is
only necessary if the person apologizes and that forgiveness is a
choice.
Dr. Worthington's Career Path [00:26:14]
Dr. Worthington talks about his transition from nuclear engineering
to counseling psychology and how he eventually became interested in
forgiveness research.
Influential Graduate Students [00:35:49]
Dr. Worthington talks about how his graduate students have
influenced him as much as he has influenced them.
Self-Reflection and Passion [00:38:33]
Dr. Worthington suggests that self-reflection and thinking about
one's passion is important to find direction in life.
Importance of Forgiveness [00:40:40]
Stu Mason encourages listeners to consider forgiveness and shares
how it can bring peace and better quality of life.
Episode Resources:
Dr. Everett Worthington's Website (Website)
Dr. Everett Worthington's Books (Website)
Forgiveness Workbook: reach.discoverforgiveness.org