Ella Podcasts

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At the beginning of a relationship, a narcissistic partner can make you feel like the most attractive, interesting and important person in the world. But over time, that attention can turn into criticism, control and a constant feeling that everything is your fault.

In this episode of Ella Podcasts, Dr Jonathan Marshall and I speak to Yana Adamanta Fry and Emma Waddingham about narcissistic relationships, the red flags people often miss, why these dynamics can feel so addictive and what it takes to rebuild your confidence afterwards.

In This Episode

* What actually makes someone a narcissist
* The difference between narcissism, selfishness and emotional immaturity
* Why love bombing can feel so convincing
* The early red flags people often explain away
* Why some high-achieving women are drawn into unhealthy relationships
* What “walking on eggshells” really looks like
* Why people stay, even when they know the relationship is toxic
* How narcissistic dynamics can affect men as well as women
* What a healthy relationship should look like
* How to rebuild trust in yourself after leaving

Key Takeaways

* Not every difficult ex is a narcissist.
* A major warning sign is consistently feeling smaller, less important or like you are always the problem.
* Healthy relationships allow both people to be wrong, listen and accept influence.
* Intense chemistry and unpredictability can sometimes be mistaken for love.
* Leaving can be complicated, especially when children, family or work are involved.
* Recovery often means rebuilding self-trust, self-worth and allowing yourself to be cared for again.

Conclusion

The most important question may not be, “Is this person a narcissist?”

It may simply be: Is this relationship good for me?

If a relationship leaves you anxious, diminished and constantly walking on eggshells, that is worth paying attention to.

Keywords: narcissist, narcissistic relationship, love bombing, toxic relationships, relationship red flags, emotional abuse, self-worth, dating advice, healthy relationships, relationship psychology, Ella Podcasts

#EllaPodcasts #Narcissism #ToxicRelationships #LoveBombing #RelationshipRedFlags #HealthyRelationships #DatingAdvice #SelfWorth #RelationshipPsychology

Guests:
Dr Jonathan Marshall, Clinical Psychologist, Marshall Consulting
Yana Adamanta Fry, Awaken Human & The Academy of Love
Emma Waddingham, Clinical Psychologist

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Why does desire change so much over time — and what happens when the spark starts to fade?

In this episode of Ella Podcasts, Dr Jonathan Marshall and I speak to Louise Sullivan and Dr Angela Tan about desire, arousal, chemistry and what it really takes to maintain intimacy in long-term relationships.

We explore the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, why mismatched libido is so common, how stress and hormones affect attraction, and why couples often misinterpret a drop in desire as a sign that something is wrong with the relationship.

In This Episode

* The difference between desire and arousal
* Why spontaneous desire often changes over time
* What responsive desire really means
* Why couples experience mismatched libido
* Whether you can genuinely get the spark back
* How stress, hormones and daily life affect desire
* The importance of communication and emotional safety
* Why novelty does not have to mean something extreme
* How to create more intimacy in long-term relationships
* The impact of social media on body image and sexuality

Key Takeaways

* Desire and arousal are not the same thing.
* A drop in desire does not automatically mean a relationship is failing.
* Responsive desire is common, especially in long-term relationships.
* Couples need to understand each other’s “brakes” and “accelerators”.
* Stress can make it much harder to access pleasure and connection.
* Intimacy depends heavily on feeling safe enough to communicate honestly.
* Novelty can be as simple as curiosity, touch and breaking familiar routines.

Conclusion

Long-term desire may not look like the intense chemistry of a new relationship, but that does not mean it has disappeared.

Sometimes the spark is not gone. It simply needs to be understood differently.

Keywords: desire, arousal, libido, intimacy, long-term relationships, sexual wellness, responsive desire, chemistry, relationships, sex and relationships, emotional intimacy, Ella Podcasts

#EllaPodcasts #Desire #Intimacy #Relationships #SexualWellness #Libido #EmotionalIntimacy #LongTermRelationships #Connection

Guests:
Dr Jonathan Marshall, Clinical Psychologist, Marshall Consulting
Louise Sullivan, Somatic Coach & Sexologist Bodyworker
Dr Angela Tan, Medical Doctor & Sexual Wellness Specialist

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If you'd like to suggest episode subjects please reach out to us. Thank you!

What happens to your confidence when the career, status or success you built your identity around suddenly disappears?

In this episode of Ella Podcasts, I’m joined by Dr Jonathan Marshall, Simon J. Littlewood and Samir Kothari to explore how job loss, unemployment, financial setbacks and failure can affect confidence, identity and self-worth.

In This Episode

* Why career setbacks feel so personal
* How unemployment and rejection affect confidence
* The difference between confidence and self-worth
* Rebuilding after job loss or financial failure
* Whether setbacks make us stronger
* How to move forward when your original plan no longer works

Key Takeaways

* Your job is part of your identity, but it should not define your entire worth.
* Repeated setbacks can seriously damage confidence.
* Supportive people, positive routines and challenging negative self-talk can help you rebuild.
* Failure does not automatically make you stronger, but it can become an important teacher.
* Sometimes recovery means changing direction rather than returning to what you had before.

Conclusion

Confidence is easy when life is going well.

The real test comes when things fall apart and you have to find the courage to keep going.

Keywords: confidence, resilience, career setback, job loss, unemployment, failure, self-worth, career change, Ella Podcasts

#EllaPodcasts #Confidence #Resilience #CareerSetbacks #JobLoss #SelfWorth #CareerAdvice #PersonalGrowth

Guests:
Dr Jonathan Marshall, Clinical Psychologist, Marshall Consulting
Simon J. Littlewood, Journalist & Best-Selling Author
Samir Kothari, Fund Manager

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If you truly love animals, should you always adopt rather than buy?

In this episode of Ella Podcasts, I’m joined by Dr Ronina Stevens, Victoria Toy and Kim Norman to explore the emotional, ethical and practical debate around adopting pets versus buying them from breeders or pet shops. 


We discuss why people still choose to buy pets when shelters are full, the difference between ethical breeders and puppy mills, the realities of adopting rescue animals, and whether people fully understand the time, cost and responsibility involved in bringing a pet into their lives.

In This Episode

* Why people choose to buy rather than adopt
* The difference between ethical breeders and puppy mills
* Whether certain breeds are chosen for image or status
* Why shelters can sometimes make adoption difficult
* The real cost of owning a pet
* What first-time adopters should expect
* The psychological benefits of living with animals
* Why rescue animals may need extra patience and time
* Whether pets are becoming more central to our emotional lives
* The importance of choosing a pet intentionally, not impulsively

Key Takeaways

* Buying a pet is not automatically unethical, but where and how you buy matters.
* Ethical breeders should prioritise animal welfare over profit. 
* Rescue animals are not necessarily unhealthy or difficult.
* Pet ownership involves ongoing costs, time, vet care and lifestyle changes.
* Some rescue animals need time to build trust, but that process can be incredibly rewarding.
* Shelters and adopters both benefit when the match is realistic and well thought through.
* Whether you adopt or buy, the biggest question is whether you can genuinely meet the animal’s needs for the long term. 

Conclusion

Adopting a pet can save a life, but responsible pet ownership goes far beyond the decision to adopt or buy.

It means understanding the commitment, doing your research and making sure the choice is right for both you and the animal.

Keywords: adopt don’t shop, pet adoption, rescue dogs, animal rescue, buying pets, ethical breeders, puppy mills, rescue animals, pet ownership, animal welfare, dog adoption, pet responsibility, Ella Podcasts

#EllaPodcasts #AdoptDontShop #PetAdoption #AnimalRescue #AnimalWelfare #RescueDogs #PetOwnership #Dogs #Cats #ResponsiblePetOwnership

Guests:
Dr Ronina Stevens, Clinical Psychologist, The Other Clinic
Victoria Toy, Lawyer
Kim Norman, Legal Business Development

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If you'd like to suggest episode subjects please reach out to us. Thank you!

People Pleasing: When Being Nice Starts Costing You

When does being kind and considerate cross the line into constantly putting everyone else first?

In this episode of Ella Podcasts, I’m joined by Dr Ronina Stevens, Simon J. Littlewood and Jasmin Dhillon to explore why some people feel such a strong need to please others, where that pattern begins, and what it can cost us in our careers, relationships and sense of self. 

We discuss why people pleasers often struggle to say no, avoid conflict, overwork, take on too much and find it difficult to advocate for themselves. We also look at how these patterns can show up in leadership, relationships and family dynamics, and why setting boundaries can initially feel selfish or uncomfortable. 

In This Episode

* Where people pleasing begins
* Why childhood and family dynamics can shape the need to be liked
* How cultural expectations can reinforce people pleasing
* Why people pleasers are vulnerable to burnout
* The impact of weak boundaries at work
* Why people pleasers may struggle with salary negotiations and promotions
* How people pleasing can affect romantic relationships
* Why some people stay in unhappy relationships for too long
* The connection between guilt, conflict avoidance and self-sacrifice
* How to start saying no without feeling like a bad person

Key Takeaways

* Being kind is not the same as abandoning your own needs.
* People pleasing often begins as a way to maintain connection, approval or peace.
* Constantly saying yes can lead to resentment, exhaustion and burnout.
* Boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you are used to putting others first.
* Saying no becomes easier with practice.
* You do not need to over-explain every boundary you set.
* Healthy relationships require give and take, not constant self-sacrifice.
* Sometimes the first step is starting small and practising boundaries in lower-stakes situations. 

Conclusion

You can be caring, generous and supportive without sacrificing yourself in the process.

The challenge is learning where kindness ends and self-abandonment begins.

Sometimes the most important person you need to stop disappointing is yourself.

Keywords: people pleasing, boundaries, saying no, self-worth, burnout, relationships, conflict avoidance, people pleaser, self-care, emotional wellbeing, toxic relationships, workplace boundaries, Ella Podcasts

#EllaPodcasts #PeoplePleasing #Boundaries #MentalHealth #SelfWorth #Burnout #Relationships #SelfCare #PersonalGrowth #Wellbeing

Guests:
Dr Ronina Stevens, Clinical Psychologist, The Other Clinic
Simon J. Littlewood, Journalist & Best-Selling Author
Jasmin Dhillon, Integrated Health Coach

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