What The Hell Do I Know with Jason Becker

What happens when professional success cannot heal the pain you have carried since childhood?

In Episode 99 of What the Hell Do I Know with JB, Jason sits down with Neko Parham—actor, writer, producer, director, acting coach, youth mentor and creative director whose career has included projects such as The Wire, Ant-Man, NYPD Blue, Sleepy Hollow, Mr. Mercedes, Bessie and Sabotage.

But this conversation goes far beyond Hollywood.

Neko opens up about growing up in Decatur, Georgia, being raised in a home filled with strong women and watching his father struggle with cocaine addiction. He remembers seeing the pain it caused his mother, discovering drugs being prepared inside their home and eventually reaching a moment when his anger became so overwhelming that he planned to kill his father.

Then a Stevie Wonder song interrupted that moment.

Neko describes it as the Holy Spirit reminding him that another life was still possible—a life beyond rage, violence and the pain of his childhood.

Years later, after leaving home, pursuing acting and building a successful career, Neko realized the people closest to him did not even know his father was alive. That realization forced him to confront the resentment, grief and emotional distance he had buried.

He eventually wrote his father a four-page letter explaining what their relationship had been—and what he still hoped it could become.

When his father did not immediately respond, Neko made the call himself.

What followed was an emotional two-hour conversation filled with anger, tears, laughter, honesty and reconciliation. In the middle of that conversation, Neko told his father:

“Dude, I just want you.”

That moment changed their relationship.

This episode explores:

• Neko’s career in acting, writing and filmmaking • Working on Ant-Man and other major Hollywood productions • Discovering acting as a teenager • How theater helped him express buried trauma • Growing up surrounded by strong Black women • His father’s cocaine addiction and return to the church • Church hurt, shame and relapse • Witnessing the emotional pain in his parents’ marriage • The night Neko planned to kill his father • How music interrupted a moment of violence • Leaving home and emotionally separating from his family • The father wound many men carry silently • The difference between saying “I forgive you” and actually healing • Writing his father a vulnerable four-page letter • Learning to wrestle without losing reverence • Understanding his father’s own childhood trauma • Reframing the stories we tell about our parents • Therapy, emotional language and generational healing • Becoming the father he needed as a child • Why transparency builds trust between parents and children • Mentoring young actors and helping them discover purpose • Creating stories that make young people feel seen • Birth Mob Media and storytelling with purpose • Why healing must begin with the person in the mirror

Neko’s story is not about pretending the damage never happened. It is about recognizing that what happened is true—but asking what else might also be true.

His father hurt him.

His father also carried wounds of his own.

Their lost years cannot be recovered, but today they have a relationship built through honesty, compassion, boundaries and the decision not to surrender to the past.

Neko’s final challenge is simple:

Start the healing journey today.

Do not wait for the person who hurt you to change first. Love yourself enough to address your own wounds, clean up your side of the street and release some of the weight you have been carrying.

Follow Neko at BirthMobMedia.com

Follow Neko Parham: Instagram: @m.nekoparham

Follow Jason Becker: Instagram: @_jason_becker

Learn more about Jason and Vintage Wisdom: [www.vintagewisdom.org](http://www.vintagewisdom.org)

Special thanks to the sponsors who make these conversations possible:

Floorzz [www.floorzz.com](http://www.floorzz.com)

TruNorth Pest Control [www.trunorthpest.com](http://www.trunorthpest.com)

Subscribe, leave a comment and share this episode with someone navigating a difficult relationship with a parent.

What would you say to your father or mother if you knew they would truly listen?

#NekoParham #FatherWound #FatherSonRelationship #AddictionRecovery #Forgiveness #GenerationalTrauma #HealingJourney #MensMentalHealth #ChildhoodTrauma #FaithAndHealing #ChristianPodcast #HollywoodActor #WhatTheHellDoIKnow #JasonBecker #Episode99

What if asking hard questions isn't the opposite of faith...

What if it's actually the beginning of owning it?

In Episode 98 of *What the Hell Do I Know with JB*, Jason sits down with brothers Max Hall and Caleb Hall—filmmakers, musicians, storytellers, entrepreneurs and lifelong preacher's kids—to explore one of the biggest questions facing this generation:

How do you make your faith your own?

Growing up in church, attending Christian school, serving as missionary kids and living under the expectations that often come with being pastor's children, Max and Caleb experienced Christianity from every angle. But eventually both realized inherited faith wasn't enough. They each had to wrestle with God personally.

This conversation explores:

• Growing up as preacher's kids • Church expectations and perfectionism • Why every believer eventually has to own their faith • Deconstruction versus reconstruction • Why Christianity is durable enough for difficult questions • The importance of asking "Why?" before "What's right?" • Making Jesus the center instead of religious systems • Raising children who feel safe asking questions • Why authenticity matters more than appearing perfect • Creativity, filmmaking and telling redemptive stories • Building Birth Mom Media and creating art that reflects real life • Finding your purpose without chasing popularity • Faith, imagination and storytelling

One of the most powerful moments comes when Max explains that Christianity shouldn't fear honest questions because **faith is durable.** Rather than suppressing doubt, he encourages believers to wrestle with it, trusting that truth can withstand scrutiny.

Caleb shares his own journey of realizing that following Jesus couldn't simply be inherited from his parents. Like every believer, he had to decide for himself whether he trusted Christ enough to surrender his own plans.

Whether you're deconstructing, reconstructing, questioning, raising kids or simply trying to follow Jesus more authentically, this conversation is filled with wisdom, grace and hope.

BirthMobMedia.com 

Follow Max Hall: @maxedwardhall

Follow Caleb Hall: @calebglennhall

Follow Jason Becker: @_jason_becker

Learn more: [www.vintagewisdom.org](http://www.vintagewisdom.org)

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Floorzz [www.floorzz.com](http://www.floorzz.com)

TruNorth Pest Control [www.trunorthpest.com](http://www.trunorthpest.com)

If this conversation encouraged you, subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who's asking hard questions about faith.

What question changed your faith the most?

#MaxHall #CalebHall #FaithIsDurable #ChristianPodcast #FaithJourney #PreachersKid #ChurchHurt #FaithQuestions #ChristianDeconstruction #Jesus #Christianity #FaithAndCulture #WhatTheHellDoIKnow #JasonBecker

What happens when a licensed therapist, Army chaplain, firefighter and follower of Jesus challenges the Church to become more like Christ instead of simply looking Christian?

In Episode 97 of *What the Hell Do I Know with JB*, Jason sits down with Nick Young—licensed therapist, pastor, former Army National Guard chaplain, former firefighter, co-founder of Black Boy Therapy, and one of the most compassionate voices speaking into faith, race and mental health today.

Nick's life has been dedicated to serving others. From the fire service to military chaplaincy, from counseling trauma survivors to advocating for the emotional wellness of Black boys and men, his message is rooted in one simple belief:

Following Jesus should make us more loving—not more certain.

Together, Jason and Nick wrestle through some of today's biggest conversations:

• Why Christians often prioritize politics over the Holy Spirit • Race, reconciliation and seeing every person as made in God's image • Why therapy isn't a lack of faith—it can be an act of faithful stewardship • Church hurt, shame and learning to receive grace • Deconstruction versus making your faith your own • Why wrestling with God is actually biblical • Mental health, anxiety, depression and healing • Why certainty may be replacing genuine faith • The role of community in emotional and spiritual healing • Ego, humility and the freedom found in the Gospel • The beauty of gratitude in seasons of suffering • What abundant life actually means according to Jesus

One of the most powerful moments comes when Nick shares how he would explain Jesus to someone who has never heard the Gospel—a beautiful reminder that Jesus fed people before questioning them, loved the marginalized and came to set people free through grace, justice and radical love.

Whether you're wrestling with your faith, rebuilding after church hurt, navigating anxiety or simply trying to follow Jesus more authentically, this conversation is for you.

Follow Nick Young: Instagram: @nickyoungslife

Follow Jason Becker: Instagram: @_jason_becker

Learn more: [www.vintagewisdom.org](http://www.vintagewisdom.org)

Special thanks to our sponsors for making these conversations possible:

Floorzz [www.floorzz.com](http://www.floorzz.com)

TruNorth Pest Control [www.trunorthpest.com](http://www.trunorthpest.com)

If this episode encouraged you, subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who needs the reminder that grace is bigger than shame.

What part of your faith have you had to wrestle with—and how has God met you there?

#NickYoung #MentalHealth #ChristianTherapy #FaithAndMentalHealth #ChurchHurt #ChristianPodcast #Deconstruction #FaithJourney #HolySpirit #Grace #Jesus #BlackBoyTherapy #WhatTheHellDoIKnow #JasonBecker

What happens when a pastor’s kid, Pentecostal preacher and student of early church history begins questioning everything he was taught about salvation, politics, capitalism and the gospel?

In Episode 96 of What the Hell Do I Know with JB, Jason sits down with Colten Barnaby, a writer and online creator known for exploring the complicated intersection of theology, politics, history and culture.

Colten grew up in a strict Oneness Holiness Pentecostal tradition in North Philadelphia. His family’s church served people experiencing homelessness, addiction, poverty and incarceration while also teaching an intense, highly specific formula for salvation.

He spoke in tongues as a child, interpreted messages in church and believed most Christians outside his tradition were lost. But when he attended Oral Roberts University and began studying biology, politics and early church history, the certainty of his childhood faith began to unravel.

Today, Colten describes himself as an agnostic Pentecostal with Eastern Orthodox proclivities. He is no longer confident that God exists, but he remains deeply shaped by Christianity and continues to cling to the beauty of the incarnation, the resurrection and the radical witness of the early church.

This conversation explores:

• Growing up in Oneness Holiness Pentecostalism • Speaking in tongues and interpreting prophecy as a child • The fear of hell and formula-based salvation • How studying church history disrupted his certainty • Carlton Pearson and the gospel of inclusion • Christian universalism and salvation • Why Colton still identifies as Pentecostal • What it means to be an agnostic Christian • The incarnation and why Colten still clings to Jesus • Whether Christianity is compatible with capitalism • Why the word “gospel” was originally political • The early church sharing possessions and eliminating need • Acts 2, Acts 4 and Christian economic community • Socialism, communism and the kingdom of God • Why Christians should not simply baptize Republican or Democratic politics • Wealth, private property, generosity and costly grace • Whether Christian faith should put us in conflict with the dominant culture • Loving people who strongly disagree with us • Why being open to people matters more than being open to ideas

Colten argues that Christians should not begin with a modern political ideology and then search Scripture for support. Instead, they should take seriously the teachings of Jesus, the prophets and the early church—and allow those teachings to challenge every political and economic system.

The early believers held possessions in common, sold property and distributed resources so there was not a needy person among them. Colten asks a difficult question: if the church’s current way of life never puts it in conflict with wealth, domination or empire, has it truly embraced the narrow and costly way of Jesus?

Follow Colten Barnaby on Instagram: @coltenbarnaby

Read Colten’s work on Substack: Kensington Cohen

Follow Jason Becker: @_jason_becker

Learn more about Jason and Vintage Wisdom: [www.vintagewisdom.org](http://www.vintagewisdom.org)

Special thanks to the sponsors who help make these conversations possible:

Floorzz [www.floorzz.com](http://www.floorzz.com)

TruNorth Pest Control [www.trunorthpest.com](http://www.trunorthpest.com)

Subscribe, leave a comment and share this episode with someone willing to wrestle honestly with faith, politics, wealth and the teachings of Jesus.

Do you believe the modern church’s relationship with money and political power reflects the early church?

#ColtenBarnaby #ChristianPolitics #ChristianSocialism #ChristianDeconstruction #EarlyChurch #FaithAndPolitics #UniversalSalvation #ChristianUniversalism #Pentecostal #ChurchHistory #CapitalismAndChristianity #ProgressiveChristianity #ChristianPodcast #WhatTheHellDoIKnow #JasonBecker

Can you question what you were taught, outgrow fear-based Christianity and still hold on to Jesus?

In Episode 95 of What the Hell Do I Know with JB, Jason sits down with Tiffany Dawn, host of the Outgrowing the Good Christian Girl podcast.

Tiffany is an author, speaker, writer and mother of two who helps people move from a black-and-white understanding of faith toward a more honest, nuanced and grace-filled relationship with God.

Tiffany grew up deeply immersed in a Pentecostal Christian community. Her childhood included powerful experiences of faith, sincere people who loved God and teachings that also created fear, pressure and an all-or-nothing understanding of Christianity.

As Tiffany began asking harder questions and speaking publicly about the ways her beliefs were changing, she lost thousands of followers. But she knew she could no longer continue giving advice that she now believed could cause harm.

This conversation explores:

• Outgrowing fear-based Christianity without abandoning Jesus • Why questioning faith is not the same as losing faith • The good and harmful parts of growing up in church • Breaking free from black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking • How Tiffany’s father taught her to think for herself • Listening to people on the other side of difficult issues • Losing followers after becoming honest about changing beliefs • LGBTQ+ inclusion and learning through personal relationships • Creating churches that are safe places of healing • Why some deconstruction may actually be revival • Loving people while still challenging harmful theology • The difference between bringing new life and simply burning everything down • Mental health, anxiety, therapy and moving beyond shame • Presenting Jesus as radical welcome instead of behavior management • Why the future of church may look more like circles, tables and shared meals than stadiums and stages

Tiffany describes faith as something that can contain both beauty and pain. The same church can hold sincere love for God and harmful theology. Outgrowing one does not require denying the other.

This is a conversation for anyone who has wondered whether there is still a place for them in Christianity, anyone who feels caught between certainty and doubt, and anyone trying to follow Jesus without pretending they have all the answers.

Listen to Tiffany’s podcast:

Outgrowing the Good Christian Girl

Follow Tiffany Dawn on Instagram: @tiffanydawniqb

Follow Jason Becker: @_jason_becker

Learn more about Jason and Vintage Wisdom: [www.vintagewisdom.org](http://www.vintagewisdom.org)

Special thanks to the sponsors who help make these conversations possible:

Floorzz [www.floorzz.com](http://www.floorzz.com)

TruNorth Pest Control [www.trunorthpest.com](http://www.trunorthpest.com)

Subscribe, leave a comment and share this episode with someone who is questioning, untangling or rebuilding their faith.

What parts of your faith have you had to outgrow—and what have you chosen to keep?

#TiffanyDawn #OutgrowingTheGoodChristianGirl #ChristianDeconstruction #FaithDeconstruction #ChristianPodcast #FaithPodcast #ProgressiveChristianity #QuestioningFaith #ChurchHurt #Exvangelical #ReconstructingFaith #JesusAndDeconstruction #WhatTheHellDoIKnow #JasonBecker