Tips For Overcoming Relationship Ruts

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After many years couples often find themselves in a strange predicament The Sex and closeness fall off and people just sort of exist in the same house There are lots of thoughts and interpretations of this The decrease in intimacy has been a problem in marriage since marriages were implemented Many today believe that the reason for the decrease in intimacy is the institution of marriage That the very act of committing yourself to another person is why the fire dies down It can be See Roommate Syndrome but it isn t the reason Why do intimacy challenges come up We are human and we can t do anything without some type of emotion mixed in We are just emotional beings We are also creatures of habit We do not want to rock the boat too much out of fear that we will be scorned in some way We don t want to be kicked out of our village and lose all that we have worked so hard to gather So why do we fall into roommate syndrome Routine The big reason is we find a routine that works for us The wife likes her shows and you like yours so you go and watch TV in separate rooms Instead of going out for a walk or doing something different Don t want to stir up emotions Doing something new can cause people to feel different emotions Nice guy syndrome Sorry nice guys but you strike again Trying to control as much as you do causes people to not venture out into the fun areas of life So we become bored A relationship can t survive without sex Funny how this is often the go-to for why we need sex in our lives Yet that isn t fully the case yeah it would be nice to get boned on a regular basis but men often have a higher sex drive than women So we often want to have sex far more often than our spouse would like to have it So what do you do That is why you are here Roommate Syndrome Roommate syndromes are when you have hit a plateau You have found yourself and your spouse in a rut and this is a good place to be because it means it is time for you to grow You have a choice Now it may seem as if we are struggling against an impossible wall but that is where our suffering is coming from our thoughts of the matter We always have a choice We can change and grow and become the people that lead our spouses out of mediocrity or we can let the marriage wither or we can just stay the same and hope that one of the people in the relationship doesn t venture out for some adventure with someone else Stay and find out how to grow The one choice I feel most people want is to stay with their spouse and find out how to become the partner their spouse needs in their life How to increase intimacy There are many different ways we can increase intimacy We first need to know what type of intimacy we are growing Any intimacy is one thing but it does help to know what type you are aiming for According to All Points North there are 5 types of intimacy we want in our relationships Emotional intimacy This is how much emotional connection are you and your spouse willing to have How willing are you to open up to your spouse about emotions There are some thoughts as to how deep you need this to be for a good connection with your wife Spiritual Intimacy How are you and your spouse sharing yall s religion Many people like to say they are spiritual and that s fine but what is your belief and is your belief compatible with your spouse Intellectual Intimacy How much curiosity is there about each other Social Intimacy How much do you share in each other s interests Physical intimacy This is what we men want most but to get this you often need to do some other things to get here They want to feel emotionally safe and secure They want to feel trusted They have to trust their partner Women are mental beings so their engines are started by you waving your ding-a-ling around This is why women can t stand dick pics Men we love our penises but women don t Start dating your girl again Time to go back into the old dating box in the back of your mental closet dust it off and start dating each other again Schedule sex It may not seem as spontaneous but at the same time it does create some habits that have long been lost There have been couples that actually tried 365 days of sex They came out of it with a stronger connection with their significant other Have a Strong Man s Community Pillar Talk to other men and have a life outside of your marriage Go back to Cheesy Romantic stuff Yeah get romantic Exercise that muscle Flowers Start giving flowers regularly Even today s women still like flowers Love notes How often do you leave love notes for your wife to find that is too few DO more Love texts Send a text to your wife at random times telling her how much she means to you and how happy you are Might even throw a little saucy language in to spice the feeling up a little Just no dick pics Drop the Mental Fights Many people have mental arguments with their spouses If you do this stop If you find yourself in that space let her win in your mind This is about respect for your wife if you don t stop your lack of respect will show up in other ways that your wife will pick up Show Gratitude One of the greatest ways to get out of the scarcity mindset of no sex is to just start being grateful for your spouse Then tell them why you are grateful Be curious Relearn who your wife is or let the marriage fall apart This is also a solution it may not be what you want but it is a solution also Special Coaching Offer 95 off – img src https www relaxedmale com wp-content uploads 2024 03 Podcast-CoverArt- jpg alt width 2000 height 2000 Summary Intimacy challenges that couples often face in long-term relationships After the initial honeymoon phase issues like lack of sex emotional distance and falling into routines and roommate syndrome can arise He makes the point that while a relationship can survive without sex most intimacy problems stem from negative thought patterns – making assumptions about the other person s feelings not processing emotions healthily and getting stuck in unfulfilling routines out of fear of disrupting the situation Goodwin identifies 5 types of intimacy that need nurturing emotional spiritual intellectual social and physical He suggests several ways to overcome roommate syndrome and reignite intimacy Date your partner again like when you were first together Schedule sex try new things to rediscover sensuality Build a strong male social circle apart from your spouse Do romantic gestures – flowers notes surprises Stop having unproductive mental fights criticizing your partner Be curious about your partner s life ask questions Express gratitude for small things your partner does Give 100 effort without expectation of reciprocation The underlying message is that growth discomfort and effort are required to sustain a thriving long-term intimate relationship Sticking to routine out of fear often leads to dissatisfaction or the relationship falling apart entirely 00 00 Intimacy Challenges 02 20 Relationship Struggles 09 40 Surviving Without Sex 12 32 Types of Intimacy 30 41 Overcoming Roommate Syndrome 34 10 Ending Mental Fights 37 17 Showing Gratitude 39 29 Giving 100 Expecting ZeroClick here to visit this podcast episode